November 6, 2026
To: Gary Steele, Vancouver, BC
Dear Gary,
Tonight, I had two tickets for the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, but my date for the evening unexpectedly had to cancel.
Before the concert, I had dinner with my good friends, Gregor and Murphy, at their house across the street and afterwards, the three of us walked the fifteen minutes to Symphony Hall. (The benefits of living in midtown Atlanta.)
The program for the evening was Bach and Brahms. I’m not much of a Bach fan, but I love the sweeping, big pieces by Brahms…especially tonight, with a brilliant soloist for the Piano Concerto #2, Anna Geniushene.
So, I’m walking in alone…a little annoyed, but whatever. (I sound like a character out of Clueless.)
Ahead of me, I see a very attractive young man, sitting by himself. And I’m seated next to him.
I use my standard cheesy line, “Sorry I’m late,” which always gets a smile and a response.
I sit down and ask the young man, we’ll call him John, because that IS his name, “Where is your date?”
He answers, “I’m solo, where is yours?”
I tell him my friend cancelled at the last minute and suddenly we’re into a full-blown conversation until the concertmaster walks in.
We plow through Bach…the second movement “Air” in the Orchestral Suite No. 3 is instantly recognizable…so that’s nice and then we get the Brahms Academic Festival Overture…which also has familiar themes. Overall, it’s a good first half.
Intermission comes and I invite John for a drink.
Now before you get ahead of yourself, he’s young, maybe 24 or 25, and in graduate school. And this is the very first live orchestral concert he’s ever attended. That surprised me.
I explain my interest in the symphony- Atlanta has a world-class orchestra, and he’s astounded that I’ve attended literally hundreds of concerts in my lifetime. Music is an integral part of my life.
Turns out that John has an interview on Monday and he was studying for it when he thought, “I need to clear my head and try something new.”
And so, he ended up at the symphony.
And I thought, damn, there are lessons everywhere, if we’re paying attention. What may seem like randomness could be part of something greater.
My dad and his twin flipped a coin for my mother. My dad won.
When I graduated from college, without a plan or a job, I drove across the country. Halfway across the country, in Columbia, Missouri, as I was about to jump back on Interstate 70 on my way to San Francisco, I flipped a coin.
Heads, I’d go back east. Tails, I’d continue west.
The coin came up heads.
And so, I didn’t go to San Francisco in 1981, at the beginning of the AIDS crisis. Tails on the coin flip would have led to a different life.
There’s a famous line from Hamlet:
“There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow.”
The idea is that even the smallest event might have significance beyond what we can see or know.
I could have chosen to sit one seat away from John and not spoken to him. I would have had a fine time, listening to beautiful music, but I would have missed the opportunity to make a new friend.
At the end of the concert, I let John know that I had tickets the following two Thursdays and he was welcome to join me.
My friend Gregor pulled him aside and said, “Stick with Stephen, he’ll teach you a lot.”
I appreciate the pimping.
But what interests me isn’t romance. It’s the opportunity to meet someone bright, energetic and curious about the world.
And I believe that surrounding myself with people like that will keep me young, energetic and curious for a long time.
Gary, you and I saw how our friends Art and Charlie cultivated a circle of young friends and how it kept them engaged with life. I hope to do the same.
I’m going to try and see you in Cold Spring before Thanksgiving. Even though you’re an old coot, you keep me honest…and young. Much love.
Stephen